


The Misadventures of The Hyrule Smasher

by orphan_account



Category: Jak and Daxter, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Drug Use, Explicit Language, Inappropriate Humor, Multi, Nudity, Randomness, Tentacle Sex, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:58:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One huge harem, crazy misadventures, Rave partying douchebag. Yeeah, this is the "Legendary" Hyrule Smasher in a nutshell. Brace yourself...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (almost) Shower Love

**Author's Note:**

> For info on The Hyrule Smasher:
> 
> Age: ??? (for the sake of his virginity... just kidding, it's 16)
> 
> Gender: M
> 
> Appearance: SSB T-shirt, Blue worn-out jeans, Red-&-Black Nikeys, Red short hair, brown eyes, muscular
> 
> Personality: Refer to the summary
> 
> P.S: SSB belongs to Nintendo

Meet The Hyrule Smasher. He's a complete moronic douchebag of the entire SSB. Little's known about how he managed to get onto the rost, but nobody actually cares, because they don't want to. The only thing they know is that he's a idiot. he's insane, perverted, drunk and the list goes on and on and on. Everybody doesn't understand him, and that's what insane about him.

Right now, it was 7:00 A.M. at the Smash Mansion and his alarm clock just blared off. His room was full of many sexy anime girl posters that covered up almost all of the wall and ceiling, added with a dark red carpeting. He slept on a Medium-sized bed that had a My Little Pony bed sheets, blankets and pillow (yeah he's a brony), whereas next to it was a night desk that had it's drawers filled with erotic mangas and hentai DVDs he likes to read and watch at night. His 75 in. flat screen TV was next to his shelf full of Wii U, 3DS, PS3, and almost every SEGA DreamCast games (except for the one made by the ill-fated LJN) along with with a CD rack full of Vocaloid, Enimen, Ice T, Lil Jon and Tha Eastside Boyz, and CKY tracks that was always playing in his room 24/7. Finally, he had a Windows 10 lag-free computer with it's own shelf of PC games, that included Half-Life, Team Fortress 2, Both Portal games and TitanFall.

"Mornin' time already? Why do I always set it to A.M instead of P.M?" He whined, trying to throw the covers off of him and notice his morning wood.

"Every dang mornin'..." The Smash-Tastic Smasher grumbled as he got up and carried his clothes to his private shower room. He waltzed in and stripped his boxers off, and moved his Anime shower curtains out of the way, but he was in for a shock. It was Kiera, masturbating in his OWN half bathtub, half shower, asleep while her Michael Jackson CD was replaying "Billie Jean" over and over again.

"KIIIIIEEEERRA!!!" He yelled in her ear with a megaphone.

"Jak, why ar-" She said, but suddenly looked up to see a fully nude, muscular and still hard Hyrule Smasher. She jumped and scream, making this knock Smashy to the floor.

"Tell me why you thought it was a good idea to sneak in here with a erection, you f**king pervert!" She yelled trying to cover her breast and unplug the bathtub drain plug.

"And why is Just Lose It not playing, you managed to sneak into my private shower, and finger yourself in the process?!" Smasher argued back, yet he was getting the though of just having sex with her.

"You know that 1. I don't like Enimen 2. I'm just visiting Jak and 3. don't you EVER say anything about my masturbation ever again!" She snapped, making Smasher ticked off.

"Why you..." He couldn't figure out what to say. One part had him wanting to apologize, and the other wanted him to tackle and rape her. The only thing he could possibly do was just walk toward his sink and look down depressingly. 

"Why am I such a f**king douchebag..." He sighed, causing Kiera's emotions changed from mad to sad.

"Um... Smasher? C-can you come over here?" She asked sadly.

"If you're looking for a log inbetween your cherry tree... I don't know..." He said, stepping over the bathtub wall. Kiera layed down onto the bathtub floor with him, turning the shower on and letting hot water fall down onto them.

"I'm sorry about yelling at you when you camed in here (pause), It's just that the way the boys are here... I don't see why I acted like that." she apologized, turning toward him.

"It's ok... besides, everyone hates me because I'm a jerk around here. That's why I'm a hermit around here most of the time." Smasher replied, attempting to get her hand over to his crotch.

"Poor thing... Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked. This thrown a naughty smile on Hyrule and dragged Kiera into his face and locked lips with her. She letted her tounge move around his while giving him a handjob. They both moaned at this sight and wanted to keep each other forever, but this got quickly interrupted by Jak kicking the door open.

"Kiera, are yo-" He asked, but noticed Smasher holding Kiera in his hands.

"Oh, you're going to pay..." Te Dark eco filled man stated as he pulled his girlfriend out of the tub, switch to the dark mod for his morph gun and aimed it at Smasher, leaving nothing but a troll face on the Douchebag Hylian's face.


	2. Mishap in the garage (part 1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah yeah I know, "Oneshot Sunday" well... I don't got school tomorrow (Teacher Workday), so I'll do that tomorrow.
> 
> P.S Happy Mothers day y'all

It was 9:30 P.M at the Haven City NYFE race garage and the dim-witted Smasher was there. He was taking a break from being at the mansion and was helping out Kiera with the vehicles that were damaged from the race, which they both watched alongside with Jak and Daxter. The happy-go-act-like-a-douchebag-for-no-reason teen was currently working on a Haven Coty Guard bike, which he installed a Smash Ball logo on the side as a decoration.

"Thanks for helping out tonight Smasher. We got plenty of damaged cars coming in right now and with your help, I think we're powering through." Kiera thanked, looking at the Shirtless part-time mechanic perfectly doing repairs.

"No problem. Besides, You got a sexy mechanic you'll be able to look at all night long, cutie pie!" He Replied, flexing a bit to make her giggle.

"You know... I was wondering if you were going to-"

"PIZZA!! GET YOUR DOMINOS PIZZA!! FRESH OUTTA THE BUSINESS!!" Daxter yelled into a microphone, acting like a ballpark snack man.

"Jak, you said that we were gonna have casserole tonight!" Kiera sarcastically complained, walking to him.

"Hey don't feel bad. I just don't want you to get tired." Jak explained, cheering his girlfriend up while placing the pizza boxes onto the workbench.

"Awww, you know that I love it when you're making sure I'm safe! Especially Smasher!" She joked while turning to Smasher and smile, making him smile back.

"Why did you had to put him in it..." He silently grumbled while looking at at him. The Dark-eco filled human then flipped the box open, but gets slightly pushed aside by Daxter.

"Allow me... Listen up! We got Pepperoni and ham combo, Sausage and Bacon combo, pineapple and... three cheese combo, Pulled pork with extra pork, three cheese with cheese sauce and cheesy stuffed crust, cheesy breadsticks with hot sauce, and some soda from the gas station!" The Orange Lightning informed, while sliding Daisani to Kiera, Code Red Mtn. Dew (my favorite) to Smasher and a beer to his self and Jak.

"I'll take o-"

"You don't deserve s*it because of what you did this morning!" Jak threatened to Smashey before he could even take one slice of each and a few breadsticks.

"Kiera... help me..." The Smashing douche managed to spit out, making her struggle him out of Jak's grip.

"Jak, don't use that as a excuse just so he can starve!" She commanded, making Jak shrug his shoulders and grab 2 slices of sausage and bacon and leaving his drink before heading back out to his Road Blade.

"Hmph, who knows where he's going. I'm gonna go play some team deatch matches in first-person on GTA Online while I eat if y'all need me!" Daxter said, carrying breadsticks and his Bud Light. Smasher, catching his breath again, managed to let Kiera get her plate before getting the slices he was wanting a few minutes ago.

"I'm sorry about Jak's attitude. He's been acting like a complete b**ch for the past 3 hours because you're here..." She sadly apologized, walking into her room with the Smash-head following behind her.

"It's ok, he's probably wanting to get away from us and do whatever the heck he does, if you know what I mean." He accepted with a wink. They both walked into a crumpled-up paper filled room with a bunk bed at the corner and a TV, along with a extra door that would normally lead to Jak and Daxter's room before they both earned a spot on the SSB roster.

"Ignore the mess, I've been stressing out with the blueprints yesterday." The mechanic quickly stated.

"Whatcha making, another car?" Smasher predicted, uncrumpling up one of the papers and looking at the blueprint while taking a bite out of his food.

"Oh, just some upgrades to my car and all that..." She explained.

"She should make something that'll make this PS4 la- YOU F**KING B**CH, THAT WAS MY KILL STREAK!!" Daxter yelled, making both the mechanic and knucklehead laugh. Smasher then thrown his legs behind Kiera and layed back, making her rest her body on him. 

"Anything you wanna watch?" She asked, looking at Smasher.

"Wanna watch a guy fire a hard torpedo inbetween a woman?" He jokingly asked, making her giggle.

"You're so goofy." She said teasingly, looking at his bare chest. She then moved her thumb over to his nipple - which was growing hard - and traced circles over it, making Smasher slightly moan. She wanted Smasher badly, she didn't want her own boyfriend to interrupt or find out that she was trying to have sex with Smasher, the complete douchebag that (nearly) gotten blown up by a Super Nova.

"Let me guess... you wanna get it on?" He asked, throwing the same naughty smile he gave her that morning. She nod her head and smacked her lips onto his, putting both of their finished plates onto her desk and held each other. They both finally got the chance to be able to have sex with each other without interruptions from anybody, and they were glad about that.

"You wanna f**k me in the shower?" She said, wanting to get back to what they were doing that morning. Smasher didn't need to answer, because he was already carrying her downstairs and into her shower room, stripping the rest of him and Kiera. They both got into the shower and turned the hot water on, throwing all of the grease and oil off of the Mates. Kiera then grabbed hold of Smasher's growing hard cock and started to regive him his hand job and moans. 

"Daaang, you're good..." Smasher stated as he sat down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sudden hault y'all. I'm gonna finish part 2 wensday due to night time constraints, but until then, keep on smashing.


	3. Mishap In the Garage (part 2/2)

"You know I've sex with Jak, right?" Kiera saide as she continued to rub Smasher's manhood. The crazy douchebag stood up and looked at her with his eyes partially closed, enjoying her pleasure. She kissed the tip of his cock and gently caress his testicles with her free hand, making Smasher moan harder.

"What're you... waiting for... give me... a blowjob..." He said in between moans. She nodded her head and slam her mouth straight into his cock, throwing her head up and down in it. He started to place his hand on her head, gently moving it on her short, but wet green hair, adding a little pressure onto her head. She then took it out and stand up to look at him.

"Is there anything wrong with my little naughty b**ch?" She cooed while regiving him a handjob.

"No... It's just my climax..." He spitted out, grabbing her head and ramming his cock back into her mouth. He manually deep throated her, and let her bring her mouth back out every few minutes, to get air.

"s*it... I'm gonna... CUUM!!" He yelled as his seeds exploded into his mate's mouth. She cleaned her mouth and pecked his neck before exiting the shower and taking him back up to her room.

"There's still more we gotta do..." The green haired slut hornily said, playing with her breasts. The Redheaded scumbag grabbed her breasts and caressingly moved them toward his mouth, planting his lips onto her nipples. She moaned over his soft untouched mouth and placed him down onto her bed, popping her tits out of his mouth and locking her lips back onto Smashey boy's mouth. While he did take it, he was getting a though; a though that got him kinky, in fact so kinky, he was dang sure she wouldn't mind. The redhead did the impossible: Slap her a*s; HARD.

"Oh... s*it... that's kinky." Kiera reacted, looking even more horny. 

"Was it too hard?" Smasher asked, looking horny just like she was.

"No way... it was sexy!" She purred near his face, with both looking at the red mark he left on her a*s cheek.

"I'm making sure that part never heals." She said, as she sat closer near his dick. She turned around - a*s backwards - and got Smasher to f**k her. The Redhead, convinced, decided to a little twist... and f**k her in the anus. 

"That's better!" Kiera moaned as she throwned her head onto the bed and look at the wall hornily. Smasher started to thrust into her faster and grabbed her breasts, giving his free hands some work. His skin slapped onto her's and caused him to moan her name. She managed to, somehow, reach under her bed, grab a dildo and toss it to Smashey. He knew what she wanted him to do, and he was - reading her mind - shoved it down her vagina, while thrusting still.

"Oh my god... that's the best dildo I have! And you're making more pleasure than it!" she yelled, starting to cry with tears of pleasure. Smashey was already starting to get rough with her, and this was making them hit the near-climax peak.

"Gonna... ugh... SMAAAAASSSSHHHEER!!"

"KIIIIEEERRA!!" They both screamed as his blazing hot cum shot into her anus, while her's shot onto his testicles. They both fell back and covered up, pecking each other one last time.

"Oh... my... god... that was.... better than what.... I expected." Kiera managed to breathe out, catching her breath.

"Yeah... whaddya say we... g... zzz..." Smasher tried to ask, but knocked out into his sleep. She giggled, then fall sleep with him, holding his back close to her.

"Kiera! I'm... back..." Jak yelled as he ran upstairs calmly, but noticed the semen and both nude sleepers, making him shock.

"That f**king sunuva b**tch's gonna die tomorrow..." Jak said, under his breath.


	4. MegaMan X(XX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before any conclusion're made, this is a O.C/Alia chapter, so don't expect any of that yaoi s*it.

Smasher was currently half awake in his room, trying to play TitanFall online. It was only yesterday since he got laid by Kiera, and he's still tired from how much energy he used. The douchebag had 15 Monster energy drinks and Red Bull combined together, mostly used for keeping him awake. It didn't, however, matter because he was still tired from last night.

"SMASHER!" The reploid X yelled, banging on his door.

"I'm not *yawn* in here...!" The teen replied, being a a*shole. X stood back from the door and took a deep breathe. He knows how much everybody gets frustrated from getting him outta that room, and he didn't wanna raise the white flag that says 'F**k it! you win!' and let him stay in there. He banged on the door again and shook the door handle roughly.

"Mother of f**k, why can't everybody ju-" Smasher complained as he opened the door, but noticed X standing next to his girlfriend Alia. The last time he even saw that beautiful chic was when he was also a part-time navigator, mostly overall getting fired for trying to hit on her. She still looked the same; standard Reploid armor design with a pink and white color scheme, but without her headset and helmet, showing her long - but just recently - dyed sky-blue hair.

"It's been a while Smash..." She shyly greeted.

"Look Smasher, She needs to do some... medical exam...?" The male reploid stated.

"Look, I just need to check on you, because ever since that Jak guy has attacked you, I need to make sure you're alright." Alia quickly said, also answering X. Smasher frozed when he heard Jak's name. He was the main other reason WHY Smasher's too tired, he was awaken in the middle of the night ludicrously beaten to a pulp, thrown out the window, and shot around by Jak's arc weilder and Plasmite RPG. Don't even get Smashey started on going through that naked!

"Ehhhh... 'kay?" Smasher confusingly agreed, trying his best to keep his eyes locked on her face. They both then walked down to the medical room holding each other hands. 

"Well it's been a while since I've seen you, Alia... how's thing been goin'?" The douchebag asked.

"Um... pretty good." The navigator replied, moving her hand around Smasher.

"What, no long-winded answer?" Smasher chuckled. They soon finally entered the medical room, which was largely white with nothing much but a medical bed and... pretty much a medical room in a nutshell? Anyway, Smasher jumped onto the bed and waited for Alia to give him orders.

"Actually... can you sit here?" Alia asked, pulling a chair over to her. Smasher shrugged, but got up and sat down onto the rather comfortable chair.

"Good... now are you still able to see well?" She then asked, secretly pulling her top off without him looking. 

"Um... yeah?" The teenage Smasher answered, wondering what's going on. What he DIDN'T wonder was that she was stripping down to only her dark magenta red bikini, and sitting on his lap.

"Perfect..." Alia naughtily said via her finger tracing down from Smasher's chest down to his crotch, which the massive worriedness he had was starting to make him erect. She slowly unbuttoned Smashey's jeans and unzipped them, moving his now hard cock out of his boxer's fly and rubbing the foreskin.

"I guess you want sex?" Smasher asked, looking at her naughtily also.

"Ye-wait what?" Alia snapped outta her daze and noticed she was giving him a handjob. Smasher noticed this too and he would, normally, get it on now, but...

"Alia..." Smasher said while he recovered his cock and putted his pants back on.

"I-I'm sorry Smasher! I ju-" Alia did her best to apologize, but was cut off by smasher pecking her on the lips. They both shooked their heads and pu-

"What're you doing here?" they both asked as I'm currently... using the camera... to record them... *jumps out window*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that crazy ending. I doubt I'm breaking the 4th wall for whatever, but... I'll make sure that doesn't happen anymore. Ok? Y'all happy? Keep on smashing...?


	5. it was a Tess(t) for Smasher (part 1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is a 2 part O.C/Human Tess chapter

"We're breaking up." Kiera stated in front of Jak. It was week 4 of Jak's harassment toward Smasher and sure enough, Smasher was tired of it. The redheaded scumbag did all his best to defend himself from the dark-eco filled man, but he failed, and gotten tormented by Jak. He was laying on the mechanic's bed still in his hurt state only in his boxers watching Kiera.

"Why?!" Jak angrily said while getting up.

"For the past 4 weeks, you've been hurting Smasher! What're you even trying to do to him?! Or even better... WHY'RE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM?!" She yelled.

"What the f**k made you think I was trying to kill him?" Jak stated. Smash managed to get up slightly and stared at him dead eyed, which made the Dark-eco stare at him back.

"He's been covered in scars and bruises!" Kiera snapped back, sitting down and caressing Smasher's head.

"That Peace maker and vulcan furry also..." Smasher coughed, sitting up. He got up and putted his jeans on while grabbing his Smash-keys that goes to his main ride: The Smash-Demon. The Douche pecked Kiera on the cheeks and decided it was best for both 2 to argue without him around. Smasher waved goodbye and walked outside to see The Smash-demon in good shape. 

It was a dark red and black 2016 Dodge-Viper with red neon lights on the bottom, gold chain guns that would come out of the sides, a car plate that said '4-5878-38533-9687-9433' which translates via phone number to 'I Just F**ked Your Wife'. Inside was rather comfy seats, topped with Fuzzy dice and a Hatsune Miku bobble-head. The scumbag cranked her up and droved off to the Naughty Ottsel, all while listening to "Move b**tch, get out the way" and flipping off Haven City guards (lol). He parked clear right in front of the entrance and walked in, noticing that the bar was empty. Wel... except for Daxter, who was standing half-asleep.

"What's up Smashey boy?" Daxter greeted while sitting down and kicking his feet back.

"Not much man... except for JAKass." Smashey answered coldly.

"Jesus christ, what's been happening between you and him?" Orange Lightning asked, looking confused.

"Look, I nearly launched a wood rocket into Kiera's rose garden in my private shower - long story how that happened - and Jak thinks she's cheating on me, but she wasn't, because I was feeling down and she wanted to cheer me up, so we've gotten laid... few days ago and now I'm getting my a*s whooped by Jakass for no reason at all!" He explained, noticing Tess had camed down to see what the commotion was about. She was in her normal outfit, except she was in her light orange bra.

"Are you ok now... Smash?" Tess asked, noticing his rememberal face.

"Overall... yeah." The redhead answered, looking at her.


	6. It was a Tess(t) for Smasher (part 2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I haven't post in a while. We can all take a moment to thank my lazy ass and summer school (which isn't really much of a problem) because of this.

"Poor Smasher, having to deal with Jak all because of Kiera... Speaking of her, how's things going between y'all?" Dax asked, climbing onto Tess's shoulder and resting on her bare skin.

"Not much's really happening right now... except we just had sex like... 4-5 weeks ago." Smash informed.

"Jesus christ, no wonder Kiera wouldn't shut up about you." Tess chuckled.

"You're really good with women Smasher! What's the secret?" Daxter exclaimed, jumping onto the scumbag's head.

"My secret? I'm a geeky dumbass of SSB that lives in a world of food, games and sex. In other words, I'm the Hyrule f**kin' Smasher!" He stated, making the group burst out in laughter. The redhead got up and decided it was best to head back to the mansion. It was already getting late and the douchebag knew he didn't want to stay locked in the Naughty Ottsel overnight, so he waved and headed out to the Smash Demon, but before he got in, he noticed Tess running out while trying to throw on a night shirt simultaneously to the teen.

"Tess what's wrong?" Daxter asked, but watches as Tess slams her lips onto Smashy and wrapping her arms around his head. Smasher eyes widen at this sight and tried to move her away from her and breathe heavily. This didn't do anything but make the bartendette giggle and peck him in the forehead.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Smasher asked in utter shock, despite getting hugged.

"I just realized that if you're good with women, then... can we go down to your place and have some fun?" Tess smirked, making the teen lick his lips and placed Daxter into the back, buckling him up, which was 5 buckles onto him, Tess and Smasher.

"Um... what's with 5 of these?" Daxter asked worriedly.

"Just hang on tight. She runs 1,050 mph baby!" Smasher explained, setting the radio to Offspring "All I Want", putting on his red and white sunglasses and lightning up a cigarette in his mouth.

"Oh shi-" Daxter exclaimed as the Smash Demon setted off by the max speed. The group - except Smasher - held on for dear life, especially Daxter, who was screaming his ass off and holding onto the seatbelt tightly. Tess, on the other hand, stared in amazement at the passing stars and lights.

 

* One car ride I'm (literally) too lazy to explain about later... *

 

The scumbag parked his car inside his garage, which wasn't really much except a pile of Anime babe posters, a security camera where Smasher could check on his room and a elevator that lead to his private bathroom.

"I'm going... to sit... ohhh god I-" Daxter complained, followed by jumping onto a trash can and vomiting into it. This made both Tess and Smasher laugh as they got into the elevator and took it to Smasher's room (pause). Smasher moved Tess to his face and plant his lips into her mouth while moving his tounge around into her's and caressingly placed his hand onto her ass and gently moved it around. This caused the bartendette to move her head back and moan, not even keeping her lips off of Smasher. As they both parted, Smasher stripped her upper body down, allowing him to gently suck Tess's nipples, making her gaspingly blush.

The teen started to gradually have a boner, which made Smasher smirked, grabbing Tess's attention. Smashy's mate got the Scumbag to let go and lay down onto the bed, letting her strip him down to barely nothing on and smile at his hard manhood.

"What're you waiting for..." Smasher asked, causing Tess to slowly strip the rest of her down and bob her head up and down onto Smasher's cock, making him moan her name hornily. The redhead sat up and place both his hand onto her head and push her up and down manually, making her move his hands and look at him confusingly and give him a handjob.

"Am I hurting you?" Tess asked.

"No you're fine... but go faster..." Smasher moaned, which made her look at him romantically. She did go fast while moving Smasher to where he was laying down perfectly, whereas the Redheaded Douchebag reached climax and splattered his liquids all over Tess's face.

"Ok Smasher... let's go ahead and do this..." Tess exclaimed while jumping onto his dick and moanfully cry. She jumped up and down on him and rested her hands onto his shoulders while looking at Smasher's cock penetrating her own virgin pussy. The redhead watched as she enjoyed her first time with him and smiled, petting her head with gentleness. Tess was in absolute heaven with Smasher and she was enjoying every second of it.

"Smasher... I'm going to... erm... SMAAASHY!!"

"TESSSSS!!" They both yelled as they orgasmed into each other. They both cuddled up next to each other and pecked each other before heading to sleep.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?" Tess asked, making the Smasher chuckle and nod his head. Little did they both knew tough, was that Kiera was watching them both alongside with Daxter via the Smash-cam.

"Like I said, he's good with women..." Daxter yawned.

"He sure is..." Kiera said, agreeing with Daxter and looking at Smasher's sleeping but cute face.


End file.
